Concept: That scene in every 90s high school movie where someone shows the new kid around the cafeteria (”that table is the nerds, those are the jocks, the goths, the cheerleeders” etc) except it’s a medieval tavern and each table has a different d&d class.
Those are the arcane casters. They all sit together, but the wizards think the sorcerers are undisciplined cheaters and the sorcerers think the wizards are pretentious dicks. You don’t wanna get in the middle of that–the last person who tried got polymorphed into a toad. I guess he had a lot of debts he was looking to get out of, though, so he just rolled with it. He’s somebody’s familiar now, I think.
The bards used to sit with them, but they broke off a while ago to do their own thing. Look, I should tell you right now: you’re poetically gonna sleep with at least one of them. It’s happened to most of us, so don’t be embarrassed. If you’re lucky, you might get away with just a ballad to your beauty parodying an 80s rock hit.
The paladins are at the next table over. Religious freaks, but if you’re getting bullied they’ll have your back even if they don’t know you. You, uh…you might end up sleeping with some of them, too. Look, they’re really good listeners, okay? Whatever.
The druids. Don’t even THINK of trying to sit with them unless you’re rocking a negative carbon footprint. Or if you can turn into a bear or a slow loris or something, they love that shit.
The rogues are…they’re around here somewhere.
Category: Uncategorized
tolkien go
go outside. go on an adventure. find some people living in forests. watch your friends die. come home a changed person after witnessing the horrors of war.
William Shakespeare was a bisexual kid from a town a hundred miles outside London with the equivalent of a high school education who knocked up a 26-year-old out of wedlock when he was 18 and he wrote 37 plays and 154 sonnets that changed the English language and the nature of Western drama and theater and if that isn’t an argument against elitism and a culture of constant perfectionism I don’t know what is
probably why people spend so much time trying to prove he didnt write his own plays
Spoilers: it really is thoguh.
He had a public education, and the UK is an elitist snobbbish shitshow with 0 social ladders.
So they’re all like
“Kit Marlowe, of course!”
I call Ækáti of the Crossroads, worshipped at the meeting of three paths, oh lovely one.
In the sky, earth, and sea, you are venerated in your saffron-colored robes.
Funereal Daimohn, celebrating among the souls of those who have passed,
Persian, fond of deserted places, you delight in deer.
Goddess of night, protectress of dogs, invincible Queen.
You are heralded by the roar of beasts, ungirded, with your irresistible form,
Drawn by a yoke of bulls, you are the queen who holds the keys to all the Kózmos.
Commander, Nýmphi, nurturer of children, you who haunt the mountains.
Pray, Maiden, attend our hallowed rituals;
Be forever gracious to your mystic herdsman and rejoice in our gifts of incense.
Orphic Hymn to Hekate (Ækáti)
“Outdoor Voices” Pen and Ink Illustration 2018 with Micron, Mixed Media, and Digital
Instagram: @cassidyraemarietta
Shrines
I’ve pissed and whined like a toddler for years that there are no shrines to my Gods. That the countryside is crowded with churches like boils on a pox sufferer, yet I can count on one hand the shrines and temples to any other Gods in this entire country.
So in an effort to be less of a squalling child, I plan to change that. I will buy little wooden placards, burn a Gods name into it, and make simple little open-fronted shrines, maybe two feet tall at most. I’ll burn a simple picture of a God into the back, and then stain the whole thing. Small, simple, and discreet. Perhaps I’ll include a short prayer on the placard. Then I’ll take the whole ensemble, and leave it somewhere. It’ll cost me about $7 total a piece.
Maybe it will be destroyed by the first person to come across it. But maybe not. Maybe it will make the newspaper (perhaps I should wear gloves while making it?).
Maybe my Brothers and Sisters will see that they arent alone. And the Gods will have a temple again, at least for a brief time.
I suppot this!
This is awesome, maybe I’ll do something lile this in my area!
That would be awesome! Heck, even a cheap premade birdhouse with the front removed would work 🙂
I’m tired..
the worst part is that people with mental illness are like twice as likely to be victims of sexual assault – like if he WERE mentally ill, that wouldnt make him any less likely to have suffered a sexual assault soooooo
tfw you’re suddenly forcefully reminded that most people don’t jive with your dead-panned, nihilistic sense of humor and just end up thinking you’re intensely creepy
woolandcoffee 