heckoffmate:

totalspiffage:

My therapist suggested replacing “is there anything I can do” with “what do you need” when comforting someone as the first kind of assumes you as part of the equation in helping someone which isn’t always helpful. It also kind of pressures the person suffering to kind of come up with something FOR you to do. Like I get so frustrated with that first question as a person who gets it a lot.

The second not only takes the pressure off but also might help the person really consider what their actual needs are like hey I haven’t eaten, maybe that’s a reason I feel crappy. It kinda takes the asker out of the immediate picture so the person struggling can focus on what they actually need, and then if you CAN help, you can offer it.

We’ll see if this works better!

That’s more like it.

sapphicvevo:

bara-paladin:

In 2019 we grow from sex positivity to sex responsibility, meaning we:

  • call out shitty people who are just abusers and using kink/polyamory to mask it and stop supporting them
  • recognize that sometimes hypersexuality can be a form a self-harm for some people
  • keep kinks and fetishes in appropriate spaces and not bringing them out into general public spaces and thereby involving people in scenes they aren’t consenting to 
  • understand that some fetishes are inherently unhealthy and some illegal to actually engage in for good reason and ignoring that is irresponsible at best
  • teaching teenagers safe sex but not encouraging them to engage or seek out dangerous sexual situations or sex with a partner who doesn’t care about them in an attempt to be ‘sexually liberated’ 

juju-on-that-yeet:

“my cat from hell” cat owner: my cat is an agent of satan who derives pleasure from tormenting me. he has attacked me many times and killed two of my family members. he does not listen to reason, or accept any form of kindness. he knows only the tearing of flesh and the flowing of blood.

jackson galaxy: how often do you play with him?

cat owner: how often do i what

madamehearthwitch:

woolandcoffee:

Fuck y’all, I am very seriously considering telling someone off almost two months after the fact because the way they spoke to me was So Fucking Far From Okay, but I was too floored at the time to react appropriately and kind of ignored it. And the thing is, I go to school with this person and see them occasionally and they sort of ignore me now and the longer this goes on the angrier I get. Like… How disrespectful can you be to speak to me like that? I know it’s been two months but I feel like if I don’t say something then that somehow makes what they said to me okay. And I know it won’t change anything, and this person will probably go on treating people like trash, but at least I’ll have said You Can’t Treat Me Like This, This Is Not Okay.

I would say something. I generally am the type to go away and stew for a bit until I can figure out exactly what I want to say… so two months later doesn’t seem out of line to me!

Thank you, I really needed to hear someone say that. I think I’m going to, because it really was egregious behavior, and there’s always the small likelihood that if I say something now, this person will change their actions in the future. And if nothing else, I’ll feel better. 

Fuck y’all, I am very seriously considering telling someone off almost two months after the fact because the way they spoke to me was So Fucking Far From Okay, but I was too floored at the time to react appropriately and kind of ignored it. And the thing is, I go to school with this person and see them occasionally and they sort of ignore me now and the longer this goes on the angrier I get. Like… How disrespectful can you be to speak to me like that? I know it’s been two months but I feel like if I don’t say something then that somehow makes what they said to me okay. And I know it won’t change anything, and this person will probably go on treating people like trash, but at least I’ll have said You Can’t Treat Me Like This, This Is Not Okay.