schmergo:

I was sending these individually to people’s inboxes but then tumblr got weird about it and started thinking I was a robot because I was sending too many messages, so I made this instead:

Hamlet: You’ve been going through a PRETTY DANG WEIRD COUPLE OF YEARS. You’ve either taken at least one philosophy class or you’ve written/made/performed something inspired by your feelings about your parents.

Ophelia from Hamlet: You’re depressed but have a top-notch aesthetic. You are constantly amazed by how much the people around you can let you down.

Beatrice from Much Ado: You use humor and irony to cope with virtually any situation unless it involves one of your friends getting hurt. Then you are in Mama Bear attack mode.

Benedick from Much Ado: You either love Kenneth Branagh or are a Nerdfighter or both.

Macbeth: You either really love your significant other or really love Fight Club.

Lady Macbeth: You either went through a goth phase or you have really strong opinions about classic Hollywood divas/ aging female Broadway stars/ modern pop stars.

Richard III: You either love edgy memes or you’re the kind of person who really likes Loki and Kylo Ren. Or you absolutely hate the fact that Shakespeare portrayed him as a villain, which means that your favorite Shakespeare character is not Richard III at all, you just have a favorite historical figure.

Queen Margaret: You either own multiple pieces of merchandise with feminist slogans on them or you have very strong opinions about Game of Thrones.

Juliet: You are NOT getting along great with your parents right now. You have a favorite Disney princess and it’s not because of how she looks but what she’s been through.

Romeo: If you’re not an Instagram poet, you should be.

Mercutio: You like to make jokes while watching movies with your friends. Your friends probably don’t enjoy this as much as you do. You probably either really like The Joker or Deadpool.

Prince Hal: You, who most loves Prince Hal, are also more judgmental of his choices than anyone else. You’re the kind of person who puts together really intricate, detailed plans for upcoming events or projects and devotes yourself totally singlemindedly to them while acting like you are under no stress and having a good time, sending out lots of friendly and chill sounding reminders like, “Hey guys! Things are moving along! Just a few updates!” You lie awake all night in a panic about these things.

Hotspur: You would think that people who love Hotspur are also jocks, but in fact, they are actually enthusiastic nerds who are always up to argue relentlessly about their favorite topics.

Falstaffs: You are either someone who has played Falstaff, wants to play Falstaff, have seen a favorite actor or loved one play Falstaff, or are leading literary critic and Yale professor Harold Bloom.

Richard II: You either have a very detailed pinterest, instagram, or tumblr devoted to your personal aesthetic. You tend to self-sabotage. If you ever get married, you will be WEIRD about your wedding. Also, you are probably not heterosexual, let’s be honest.

Rosalind from As You Like It: You have probably wished you could give lessons to a previous partner of yours of how to be a less sucky boyfriend/girlfriend. You have had at least one controversial haircut among your friend group.

Viola from Twelfth Night: Same as the above, but also people constantly guessed incorrectly about your sexual orientation growing up. And also, you still sometimes think wistfully of your high school crush.

Malvolio from Twelfth Night: You are smart, but you often do stupid things. You like to watch ‘cringe compilations’ or follow humorous fail/shaming blogs, but you also constantly worry you will find yourself on them.

Olivia from Twelfth Night: You have had a string of BAD RELATIONSHIPS and are DONE right now, but that doesn’t mean that you’re not extremely committed to STYLE, because you are.

Paulina from The Winter’s Tale: You HATE your boss.

Shylock: You constantly feel the need to tell people that he is NOT a villain and everyone else in that play is terrible. You can’t even enjoy The Merchant of Venice, but you keep going to see productions of it anyway.

Iago: You constantly feel the need to tell people that you’re not actually racist, but you just think he’s a FASCINATING VILLAIN.

Othello: You weep when certain songs come on the radio.

Prospero: You are writer who often complains about how HARD it is to be a writer despite getting very little done.

Caliban: You actually like A Tempest better than The Tempest.

Ariel: See PUCK below, except you’re less annoying.

Puck: You used to do gymnastics, martial arts, or some other kind of sport or dance because your family hoped that would help you get some of your energy out and you’d be less hyperactive, destructive, and disruptive. You have a bad habit of accidentally breaking things.

Helena: You had really bad self-esteem in high school and still have really bad luck in relationships.

Titania: You used to have Lisa Frank everything in elementary school.

Oberon: You really like Renaissance faires

Brutus: You have always been either an overachiever perfectionist or someone who habitually bites off way way way way way more than you can chew and makes a mess of it despite trying really hard. You remind people to bring an extra sweater to events because it might get chilly.

Cassius: You are extremely smart and yet you’re also an impulsive mess who does weird things like start painting your entire bedroom at 2 AM. You feel like you somehow have the sworst luck in the world and that if you had more opportunities, things would be better. You have a grudge against specific celebrities.

King Lear: You have a favorite elderly British actor.

Cleopatra: You secretly consider the Kardashians or other similarly luxuriously-living reality stars an extremely guilty pleasure. You also may have gone through a strong Ancient Egypt phase in elementary school.

Coriolanus: The Prince of Egypt made a big impression on you even if you’re not religious. You are quiet and reserved but swear like a sailor. You either have a huge crush on Tom Hiddleston or have a favorite Civil War battle.

Katherina from Taming of the Shrew: Either you don’t actually like Taming of The Shrew or you’ve never actually seen/read Taming of the Shrew.

Anyone else: You’re just Too Cool For School, aren’t you?