me running for office: we need more small farms that give back to the community, we need better regulation on the sale of pets, fish and exotic animals, we need to eat more bugs
Hey, do you know that feeling of hitching up a long skirt so you don’t fall on your face when walking upstairs, and then you immediately become a wretched yet resolute Jane Austen character? It’s a universal thing, right?
It’s like resting a laundry basket against your hip and suddenly you’re a long-suffering peasant woman, wondering if you’ll survive the winter.
I am a little high but what if people proposed with beautiful, intricate knives. Ladies would gather around the table and be like “guess what finally happened!!” And pull this beautiful, intricate dagger out of her purse and all the other ladies would gasp and congratulate her
Like, it always takes me a minute to remember when a pal didn’t watch lord of the rings because they were literally a baby. Because those movies were such a milestone in the lives of my gen nerds. And I just. Forget how long ago already it was?
I remember going to see the movies like it was yesterday. How excited dad and I were, how “this is not my genre” my mom was. How much grandma loved it to the point we were released from one-classsical-music-cd ad infinitum hell to the Lord of the rings sound track unto the end of days. How she adored Aragorn (I mean, didn’t we all?) and how grandpa bought her the evenstar for valentines.
I got action figures of Aragorn older than some folk on here, is what I am saying.
Mind-boggling.
Holy shit, there are people that haven’t seen Lord of the Rings because they’re too young? I feel… ancient. I totally had a massive crush on Arwen, and I remember thinking how damn /cool/ the ringwraiths (especially when Frodo had the ring on!) were – and falling in love with Moria, I really need to do that dwarven modelling I wanted to do, again.
Occasionally I’ll think back to when the first movie came out. My dad was just reading me LotR for the first time, and he and my mom went to go and see the first movie before they took me to make sure that it didn’t cover anything that wasn’t in the first book. I remember that so clearly and think that it can’t have been that long ago. Then I remember that I was 7 when my dad first read me LotR and I’m 25 now. So.
[ATTENTION ALL PEOPLE WHO WANT A MORE TANGIBLY INSPIRED, PROGRESSIVE, AND MAGICKAL WORLD]
You got 12 days to get your shit together and put it in a bag because Uranus enters Taurus on May 15th.
This hasn’t happened since the 1940’s and it completely revolutionized consensus.
Uranus=The lightning bolt of inspiration, the revolutionary, and anarchist
Enters and upturns
Taurus=Material reality and the physical plane.
We have a once in a life-time opportunity to strike at the separation between material and spiritual if we all do this synchronized together!
We gotta come up with a ritual that is simple to do. I propose using a knife like a lightning rod, calling upon that Uranus energy, and directing the strike to puncture whatever reality you wanna let into this world. Like using a needle and piercing fabric, pulling a thread through, and binding the second material to the first. Even more perfect that it’s happening on a new moon which is perfect for planting new seeds.
I can actually elaborate on this, because last time I toured the catacombs we had a delightful guide who was a very enthusiastic PhD student and this was, apparently, partly what he was doing his dissertation on. (I talked to him for a while one-on-one; we bonded over the sweet hell that is graduate school.) Anyway, according to him, there was this weird artsy quasi-anarchist amateur-spelunking group that used to throw these very illegal parties down in the catacombs. This, of course, isn’t safe at all because (1) parts of the catacombs are not structurally sound and you risk suffocating or being crushed to death, and (2) they’re damn near impossible to navigate if you don’t know what you’re doing. As in multiple people have literally died of thirst before finding their way out–one of whom finally collapsed a bare twenty meters from the exit, which he couldn’t see because it’s so infernally dark. How’s that for shitty, shitty irony?
Anyway, after stumbling across little bits of evidence that people were exploring the out-of-bounds areas of the catacombs and leaving like, a few cigarette butts and empty bottles behind, the Paris police issued a stern cease-and-desist basically saying, “STOP DOING THAT YOU COULD ALL DIE” and this one group basically said, “Bitch make us” and proceeded to get more and more ostentatious with their bizarre subterranean Magic-Theatre soirees, just to prove that they knew the catacombs better than anybody else and there was pretty much nothing the authorities could do to stop them. The electricity thing in itself isn’t really that mysterious because anywhere you could fit a makeshift movie theatre you could also bring the generators to run it (so long as they’re not gas-powered, because underground that would probably mean carbon monoxide poisoning…not that safety was the first priority here). It would be a hassle, but doable. That’s not the good part. The good part is that not only did they illegally set up an entire movie theatre in the tunnels under the city of Paris, but they left it there just to taunt the authorities. Eventually this kind of stuff stopped. Nobody really knows why except the pranksters themselves, I suppose, but literally only in Paris do you get a troupe of drama queens as epic as they are unapologetically petty.
woolandcoffee 