Aries: She’ll make fun of your quirks but secretly fucking adores them, she’ll stick by you through thick and thin but will give you a kick up the ass if you need it. If you’re not giving her enough attention/affection, trust me she will let you know. Like Aries boyfriends can get jealous easily but is less confrontational about it (you’ll know by her face and eyes)
Taurus: She’ll picture you’s two together in the future if you guys are committed. She takes commitment really seriously so if you get it you lucky bruh. She likes sensual things like food and massages but it could literally be as simple as a bag of chips and a back rub. If you promiseher your love you better mean it because she can get hella jealous and possessive.
Gemini: Much like Gemini boyfriends, the girlfriends can be super extroverted in their relationship, she will talk the ears off anyone who asks about you. She’ll be witty and sarcastic with you but in a charming manner and she’ll do things to get a reaction (for example, run off your phone). When it comes to emotions she wont like getting too deep and will probably try and talk her way out of the subject.
Cancer: She thinks A LOT and might worry a lot about the relationship cause she doesn’t want to fuck up so you might need to reassure her a good bit. She can get emotionally jealous and possessive sometimes but only cause her mind can trip her up a bit. She has such a lovely smile that’s simply contagious and she can make you feel so fucking safe and cared for, like she will always be there when you need to talk no matter what time it is. Great sense of humour (blushes at dirty jokes but secretly she fucking creates them lmao)
Leo: She’s the type that’ll make you look at life with excitement. Like a child she finds beauty and happiness in the simplest of things. She’s the type that will dance with you in the back garden at 2am with sparklers. Her laughter is infectious and she loooooooves to tease omg but she knows when you need affection and she’ll give it to you without hesitation. She’ll love to show you off as well like omg ‘’This is my partner and they’re the best person ever like look at this lil shit”
Virgo: SARCASTIC. AS. FUCK. Intellect is a big thing with this sign, if you’re boring her good luck getting some. She loves to be witty and smart assed around you. She’s not very touchy feely but will melt into hugs. She won’t always express her feelings, if you compliment her she’ll probably brush it off nonchalantly or make a witty comment but trust me she appreciates it and you probably just made her tummy do the spinny thing. If you ever get the chance to get into an emotional conversation with her cherish it cause they’re not very common.
Libra: She’ll watch rom coms and give out to you because you don’t do those things for her and then you’ll do them and she’ll be like “Ew cringeeee” but she’ll appreciate it a lot. She’s witty but doesn’t really use it unless she’s pissed off. She’s really caring and also really fair, you have to meet her halfway or she’s not gonna bother with you lol. She’d walk through hell to make you happy if she really cares about you but if you cross her she’ll walk back through hell to make sure karma kicks you in the face
Scorpio: In public she’s soo chill (think Rosa from Brooklyn nine-nine). She’s neither overly affectionate or completely affection-less, she’ll hold your hand and stuff. When it’s just you’s two, she can be really giggly and soooooo dirty minded whether you know about it or not omg. She’ll listen to your problems and try to help you through it. Look after her feelings tho, even though she might not show them, she feels deeply. Oh and if you ever want to slash someones tires she’s your girl.
Sagittarius: She’s the type to romanticise travelling, and she does it so well. Whether she wants to travel the world with you or just 5 miles, she loves to make plans. As a fire sign, she’ll be really fiery when she flirts, she could probably bring you to your knees tbh. She takes NO shit whatsoever so don’t even try to play her. She likes when you two play as a team rather than. She can get bored easily and needs to be occupied.
Capricorn: She’ll probably be hella quiet until you two get close enough for her to trust you with her personality. Not into public displays of affection and likes to keep relationships low key cause they know that people can be assholes. She’s like a living meme generator tbh and has suuuccch a dirty mind omg. Like Cap boyfriends, they keep so much heartbreaking stuff to themselves and rarely ever open up so if they open up to you feel blessed son.
Aquarius: Think of every eccentric disney female character. That is an Aqua girlfriend to a certain extent (depending on their moon). She will ferociously twerk to untwerkable songs and it’ll work??? like idk how it just does. She always tries to make the best of a bad situation and she’ll do the same with your problems. She’ll try to help you grow and develop mentally. She’ll be the one to text you at 3 am like “Babe do you think aliens are real?”. She’ll make really good jokes too (some can be offensive but not intentionally)
Pisces: She can be so aloof and sometimes she won’t actually hear what you’re saying because she’s too busy admiring you, she will love you whole heartedly. She’s so emotionally intelligent and can always tell when there’s something wrong with you SO DONT DENY IT because you will frustrate her and she can get nasty when frustrated. She’ll sit with you and talk about dreams and aspirations and she’ll be the one to encourage you to do whatever makes you happy. Don’t try to take advantage of her because she will know and you will pay.
I went mad in the forest, mad with blood and wolf-flesh and the horror of battle, and I fled mad across the moors and into the hills until I stood naked upon the mountain beneath the blue sky.
And I saw him, the Wanderer, in my madness, and I asked him, “What is it that we are always struggling and striving for?”
And he looked deep into my soul with his one terrible eye, and he said:
Legolas pretty quickly gets in the habit of venting about his travelling companions in Elvish, so long as Gandalf & Aragorn aren’t in earshot they’ll never know right?
Then about a week into their journey like
Legolas: *in Elvish, for approximately the 20th time* ugh fucking hobbits, so annoying
Frodo: *also in Elvish, deadpan* yeah we’re the worst
Legolas:
~*~earlier~*~
Legolas: ugh fucking hobbits
Merry: Frodo what’d he say
Frodo: I’m not sure he speaks a weird dialect but I think he’s insulting us. I should tell him I can understand Elvish
i mean, honestly it’s amazing the Elves had as many languages and dialects as they did, considering Galadriel (for example) is over seven thousand years old.
english would probably have changed less since Chaucer’s time, if a lot of our cultural leaders from the thirteenth century were still alive and running things.
they’ve had like. seven generations since the sun happened, max.
frodo’s books are old to him, but outside any very old poetry copied down exactly, the dialect represented in them isn’t likely to be older than the Second Age, wherein Aragorn’s foster-father Elrond started out as a very young adult and grew into himself, and Legolas’ father was born.
so like, three to six thousand years old, maybe, which is probably a drop in the bucket of Elvish history judging by all the ethnic differentiation that had time to develop before Ungoliant came along, even if we can’t really tell because there weren’t years to count, before the Trees were destroyed.
plus a lot of Bilbo’s materials were probably directly from Elrond, whose library dates largely from the Third Age, probably, because he didn’t establish Imladris until after the Last Alliance. and Elrond isn’t the type to intentionally help Bilbo learn the wrong dialect and sound sillier than can be helped, even if everyone was humoring him more than a little.
so Frodo might sound hilariously formal for conversational use (though considering how most Elves use Westron he’s probably safe there) and kind of old-fashioned, but he’s not in any danger of being incomprehensible, because elves live on such a ridiculous timescale.
to over-analyse this awesome and hilarious post even more, legolas’ grandfather
was from linguistically stubborn Doriath and their family is actually from a
somewhat different, higher-status ethnic background than their subjects.
so depending on how much of a role Thranduil took in his
upbringing (and Oropher in his), Legolas may have some weird stilted old-fashioned speaking tics in his
Sindarin that reflect a more purely Doriathrin dialect rather than the Doriathrin-influenced Western Sindarin that became the most widely spoken Sindarin long before he was born, or he might have a School Voice
from having been taught how to Speak Proper and then lapse into really
obscure colloquial Avari dialect when he’s being casual. or both!
considering legolas’ moderately complicated political position, i expect he can code-switch.
…it’s
also fairly likely considering the linguistic politics involved that Legolas is reasonably articulate in Sindarin, though
with some level of accent, but knows approximately zero Quenya outside of loanwords into Sindarin, and even those he mostly didn’t learn as a kid.
which would be extra hilarious when he and gimli fetch up in Valinor in his little homemade skiff, if the first elves he meets have never been to Middle Earth and they’re just standing there on the beach reduced to miming about what is the short beard person, and who are you, and why.
this is elvish dialects and tolkien, okay. there’s a lot of canon material! he actually initially developed the history of middle-earth specifically to ground the linguistic development of the various Elvish languages!
Legolas: Alas, verily would I have dispatched thine enemy posthaste, but y’all’d’ve pitched a feckin’ fit.
Aragorn: *eyelid twitching*
Frodo: *frantically scribbling* Hang on which language are you even speaking right now
Pippin, confused: Is he not speaking Elvish?
Frodo, sarcastically: I dunno, are you speaking Hobbit?
Boromir, who has been lowkey pissed-off at the Hobbits’ weird dialect this whole time: That’s what it sounds like to me.
Merry, who actually knows some shit about Hobbit background: We are actually speaking multiple variants of the Shire dialect of Westron, you ignorant fuck.
Sam, a mere working-class country boy: Honestly y’all could be talkin Dwarvish half the time for all I know.
Pippin, entering Gondor and speaking to the castle steward: hey yo my man
Boromir, from beyond the grave: j e s u s
Literally canon
Gimli, in Khuzdul: This is why we don’t teach our language to fucking anybody.
Reblogging the other thread because I’m crying at ghost Boromir and I
desperately need to believe Tolkien, as a linguist, would have laughed
himself sick at all of these
everyone in fantasy novels is horny on main for elves and it’s honestly a travesty like why the hell would you want to marry an elf you’ll just spend the rest of your days growing old in the woods with a bunch of immortal bastards whose heads are so far up their asses they think singing week-long ballads is prime entertainment and say shit like “thou” and “beseech” unironically y’all should be hooking up with dwarves who 1. actually know how to throw the fuck down and let loose at a party 2. will literally shower you in diamond dust and gold they mined and crafted with their bare hands and 3. can sling you over their shoulder like a sack of potatoes with their huge muscular arms developed from hours of said mining and crafting. there’s literally no contest.
if i was a pirate captain i would get a movie projector and play a movie on the big sails every friday night for my boys to kick back and enjoy some time off unless we were under attack
Pirates legit did the 16-17th century equivalent of this. When things were slow, they would put on plays, act out dramas of stories they knew, or freestyle. The most preferred model of original productions was courtroom drama: “trying” each other for piracy. The “accused” would list off their many, dramatically and humorously embellished crimes, and be equally dramatically sentenced. Sometimes there was a daring escape, sometimes just a really maudlin death scene, but a good time was had by all.
woolandcoffee 